Closing Doors

I’m not jumping as much at closing doors anymore.

My moods have been low

And I'm zoning out

But I noticed just yesterday

When a door slammed closed in the bed and breakfast I jumped, but not as much

I can drive from point A to B

Without realising I didn't put the sat nav on

I can drive for more than five minutes

Without severe pain or tiredness,

And I’m not jumping as much at closing doors anymore.

I can talk with a man

And he tends to listen

He interacts and wants my opinion

He can disagree but doesn't threaten or dismiss,

And I’m not jumping as much at closing doors anymore.

I can make cookies and dinners

Even if I scold my fingers

Or it's slightly overdone

I can eat appropriate food for my allergens

And I’m not jumping as much at closing doors anymore.

I can manage my medication

And run around after kids

And parents trust them with me

Even if I'm in my wheelchair

And I’m not jumping as much at closing doors anymore.

I still jolt

I still panic

I still try to make myself small

I still jump

But not as much, at closing doors anymore.